Wool

As the world positively reels from its 23rd-ever Leap Second, the administrators for the defunct sweet and bucket vendor Woolworths have seemingly seized the mood. The closure of the once-ubiquitous Easter Egg vendor has been shunted back from January 6th to January 7th, in what economists will surely now be forced to recognise is a Leap Shop Closure. All marvelled.

I marvelled particularly with some small-town schadenfreude, noticing how the Woolworths here in unfashionable and a bit smelly Lancing will close LATER than the branches in nearby fish-wrangling rapist Shoreham-by-Sea or even Achingly Trendy Brighton. This means we totally win at Woolworths. However, my victory is tempered by the fact that my dad has now found out about the news. He is most upset about it, too. There was a certain pain in his voice as he asked me whether I had heard about this news. I merely fainted.

Tomorrow I will aprise him of additional details concerning the global financial situation. Although I suspect I will have to start with the 1992 recession. Quite how he'll react when he finds out what happened to the World Trade Center is anybody's guess.