Sid Nutt is One Of Those Names. Just calling him Sid, or Mr. Nutt, would be insufficient. Sid Nutt is a name of such magnificent perfection that you have to say the whole thing, every time. Sid Nutt. Sid Nutt. Alright Sid Nutt?
It's not just punchy names that fall into this category either. Although I went to school with a Matt Gunn - another perfect example of one of those names being short and monosyllabic - I have also been lucky enough to meet Geoff Parrott. Geoff Parrott is a name which just keeps giving. You can't help but smile. And actually, that's the sort of person that Geoff Parrott is as well.
My mother was telling me that Sid Nutt, too, was an extraordinary character. Tall and thin with a big baggy suit for his successful legal career. Full of quips and eccentricities. She need not have bothered telling me this. There's no way that a man called Sid Nutt would -or could - be anything other than completely exceptional. His name is Sid Nutt!
My pet theory on names runs that the name you are given has a great bearing on the person you become. My name is Edward, and I simply could not occupy any other title. My circle of friends includes a baffling array of Edwards. They are all very Edwardy, too, but of course, something had to be done to avoid confusion. One of my friends started calling me Edmund, which stuck. And I like it. I love it. It's personal to me and the people that I care about, and has many fond memories attached. But if anyone from outside of that group calls me it I dislike it enormously. It feels like a violation. Because, above all else, I'd not be the same person that I am had I actually been called Edmund. I truly believe that.
When I see some of the daft made-up names children are given now I worry. They are an unknown. You know where you are with a Gary or a Derek or a Tabitha. What sort of person will a Jayden grow to become? I can only imagine they'll be like a character from Mortal Kombat.
When I am king, my first order of business will be to establish firm policies on responsible naming for children. Giving a fellow human being a stupid name is wrong wrong wrong. That is what dogs and cats are for.
(Mind you, there's nothing which delights me more than a dog or cat with a very, very, human name. The best name I've ever heard suggested for a cat: John.)