Tuesday, 13 September 2011

On worry

Why did I used to worry? This occurred to me today. Frankly, it's very worrying.

Last night I accidentally recorded a podcast. I was helping my friend 5olly make chutney and he thought it would be an interesting experiment to record it. I'm an avowed completist, so will wait until the whole thing is available before pimping it too hard. But if you follow the link to his blog there I believe you'll be able to hear a snippet. We had been drinking, yes.

This sort of thing used to terrify me. For a start, I (in common with almost everyone in existence) don't like hearing my voice when it's recorded. However, the anxiety just seems to have melted away, allowing me to enjoy the content of the thing, rather than fretting about trivialities of the wrapping.

I think I comprehensively proved that I am a blithering idiot, but hopefully also the right kind of idiot. A nice sort of idiot. Maybe even an entertaining sort of idiot. "Compelling" may be a step too far, but in my defence, chutney's not really a subject on which I feel I have the requisite knowledge to really hold forth.

I'm continuing to put myself out there in lots of little ways and it's so exciting because the effect is so overwhelmingly positive. Don't think it, do it. I always say that people don't change, but I think now what they can do is become better, become more themselves. Become the person they have the potential to be.

I paint, draw, write, cook. I'm educated, curious and have lots of interests. I am going to coin the phrase Renaissance Idiot to describe myself and everyone like me. There's a lot of us Renaissance Idiots about, too. It bodes well for the future.

My one remaining worry is that I'll get too confident and cocky. I'd hate that. I implore all of you to beat me down whenever it happens. It will be for my own good even more than it will be for the good of society. The Renaissance Idiot must never lose sight of the fact that they are an idiot.

1 comment:

Fran said...

I think it's safe to say that anyone who is self aware enough to worry about being cocky or arrogant, probably won't ever actually be cocky or arrogant so don't worry.

Worrying is crap. I am a complete worry bee. If there is something to worry about I'm pretty much on the case. I too am trying to worry less. I often try and think of the worst case scenario (so the phrase...what's the worst than can happen isn't all that useful to me) but now I'm trying not to worry about things until I actually need to. It saves a lot of energy. Basically, life's too short isn't it?

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