Sunday, 2 October 2011

Crayola me

You know, I've recently written on here quite a bit about meeting people in real life who you first "met" online and how it's really no longer anything of a social stigma, or elaborate cover for a massive European paedo ring. This year I've met quite a number of new people via Twitter and they've all been a delight or better.

However, there may still be one problem. And that's the old "how will I know what you look like?". For some people it's easy. Their online lives encompass a lot of photography and video making and all sorts. You're pretty sure to be able to notice them. But then there's people like me. I generally keep pictures of me away from the internet because the servers couldn't take the strain. What we need is a system.

Of course, being a man who has ideas continually because I'm just incredibly clever, I have come up with it. Crayons.

I know of no better range of evocative colour descriptions than the ones in the Crayola crayon range, nor a more readily available array of shades. Yes, from now on everyone should be describing themselves along similar lines. Be as creative as Crayola are, and you never need miss your new Twitter friend or Flickr buddy in a crowded room again.

I would like to start the ball rolling for this brave new world. My hair is Intellectual Blond (thanks for that one go to Alice). Or Super Golden Lion. My skin tone I would describe as being Peach Half Floating In A Chalky Mud Puddle. My eyes are Boiled Sweet Green.

My head is melon. In terms of size, at least.

I defy anyone not to find me after that lot. Another problem for the world solved by the application of pure, crystalline, stupidity. You're welcome.

1 comment:

Lolly said...

Similarly, I collect* paint chip sample cards from
B&Q (*definitely don't steal or lie to the old man who works in the paint section that I have a 12 bedroom home to decorate so he let's me take them all) - if you collect enough of those weirdly named dulux cards you can pair them up to describe people/occasions (useful for making birthday cards). Ginger Downs. Fiery Stallion. And so on.

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